An Indian moves to Montreal and goes to a big department store looking for a job.

The manager asks, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The Indian says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home”.

Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did, but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream etc. You get the idea?”

“Of course,” the young man said. His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down. “How many sales did you make today?

The Indian says, “One”

The manager groans, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales/day. How much was the sale for?”

The Indian says, “$101, 237.64 .”

The manager exclaims, “What? $101,237.64? What did you sell him?”

The Indian replied, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod.

Mick, from Dublin, appeared on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.

“You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter, “but for a million pounds you’ve only got one life-line left phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question…will you go for it?”

“Sure,” said Mick. “I’ll have a go!”

“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) Sparrow

b) Thrush,

c) Magpie,

d) Cuckoo?”

“I haven’t got a clue.” said Mick,

‘’so I’ll use last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin.”

Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

“Fookin hell, Mick!” cried Paddy. “Dat’s simple…It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”

“I’m fookin sure.”

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, “I’ll go wit Cuckoo as my answer.”

“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.

“Dat it is, Sir”

There was a long – long pause, and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you’ve won 1 million pounds!”

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

“Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest?”

“Because he lives in a Fookin clock!”

Funny ^^
Dubbing for one character is difficult enough, moreover few characters at one time. This is how those producer add dialogue to the animation.

> Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to  investigate.
> 他觉得有点困扰，就吩咐司机停车。接着他下车查探。

> He asked one man ‘Why are you eating grass?’
> 他问其中一人，“为何你们在吃草？”

> ‘We don’t have any money for food,’ the poor man replied ‘We have to eat grass.’
> 那人答，“我们没有钱买食物，所以我们要吃草。”

> ‘Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you’, the lawyer said.
> “那么，你可以来我家，我给你吃的。”律师说。

> ‘But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree’.
> “可是我还有妻子及两个孩子，他们都在那边的树下。”

> ‘Bring them along,’ the lawyer replied.
> “带他们一起来吧。”律师说道。

> Turning to the other poor man he stated, ‘You come with us also.’
> 他转向另一个人说，“你也一起来吧。”

> The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, ‘But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!’
> 那人说，“可是我也有妻子及六个孩子啊。”

> ‘Bring them all, as well,’ the lawyer answered.
> “把他们也一起带上。”律师答。

> They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
> 虽然那是一部大房车，他们也费了九牛二虎之力，全部人才能上车。

> Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, ‘Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.’
> 途中，其中一人说，“先生，你真是一个大好人，谢谢你把我们全部人带来。”

> The lawyer replied, ‘Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter  high!’
> 律师回答，“我感到很荣幸。你们肯定喜欢我的地方，那里的草足足有一米高。

BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY : What time was it??

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number??

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.

Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.